Once upon a time, I went out on a date with a girl who was kind enough to say yes. There clearly was not going to be a second date the moment she said she had ferrets for pets. All that aside, she asked the question which I thought had an obvious answer until it came up. “Why?”

I had been telling her about the books I had been reading, about the ideas they were fostering. She asked me, “Why?”

Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels

Confused by the question, I asked her to elaborate. She clarified, she wanted to know why I read as much…

Why life strategy works better with fifty two cards than a checked board.

Due to the success of The Queen’s Gambit, a Netflix original I highly recommend to anyone, the game of chess is cool and popular to talk about and play right now. This moment of success however, has fed into a mistake we already made when it was a game left for those who had the patience to look boring: Viewing life like a game of chess.

Source — Insider.com

It’s a popular misconception, viewing life strategy like a large extended and protracted game of chess. You carefully moving your pieces on the board of life, planning each step to achieve resolution in the…

How I Wait (For Love, Marriage, and all the stuff in between)

Photo by Alexandr Podvalny from Pexels

In Jane Austen’s Emma, one of the best exchanges of dialogue comes from Mr. Knightley responding to the ever irritating Mrs. Elton. When the recently married woman offers to form the guest list for Mr. Knightley’s house party, since he’s a bachelor, he gives this great response.

“No,” he calmly replied, “there is but one married woman in the world whom I can ever allow to invite what guests she pleases to Donwell, and the one is — “

“Mrs. Weston, I suppose,” Interrupted Mrs. Elton, rather mortified.

“No- Mrs. Knightley; and until she is in being, I will manage…

You probably hated 2020, and who can blame you? It was a year where most found themselves quarantined on and off, constantly in the midst of an argument between science, politics, and ideology, hours cut, job’s reduced, and everyone uncertain what exactly would happen next. Murder hornets not included, it has been a year peppered by uncertainty and tensions as high as the tight rope you walked to get through it all.

Admittedly, my year was far better than it deserved to be. There were good and bad moments as there were in any other year. Stress and uncertainty, just…

Answering the most important questions of life.

Navigating life is a matter of navigating questions and they are rarely clear ones. The questions are usually only half formed, requiring us to guess at both the answer and the question itself at the same time. Despite this perpetual ambiguity, when we reduce the complexity of the problem at hand, it usually devolves into a single word question: If.

Life is a matter of If’s, if this happens or that; if we do or do not; if they do or do not; if, if, if.

Photo by Jeswin Thomas from Pexels

In that simple, two letter word we find contained the essence of uncertainty. It…

In the deed, the glory.

Last week I was challenged by a friend of mine, Evan Thomsen a business consultant, to apply what I write and talk about. His claim was, justly, that I tend to focus on accumulating knowledge but rarely exercising it to practical effect. As much as I would like to excuse myself, to claim the pursuit of knowledge is the all-sufficient purpose to learning, he’s right.

Knowledge, without the action to bring it any degree of vitality or life, is worthless. Or as another friend has succinctly said, “Training without execution is useless.”

We live in a time where information has…

I am now twenty five years old, an unimaginably old age when I was a child, and one which will seem incredibly youthful when I am old. Balancing both the past and future, my present thoughts are I am at the middle of the middle, with a quarter life crisis constantly hovering around the corner waiting to pounce.

Photo by Joyce Adams on Unsplash

Meg Jay wrote a book called, The Defining Decade in which she stressed the importance and critical time your twenties are to the rest of your life. It is, to date, the only book I can remember actually hurling against the wall…

KiSS Overthinking Relationships Goodbye

Hi, my name is Terrance and I overthink everything in my life. Don’t believe me? Ask my closest friends who are tired of me not just beating the dead horse, but carefully autopsying it and evaluating each inch of the deceased beast.

Never do I spend more time in the pathology lab than when it comes to my love life (or lack there of in many cases). Fortunately, I have also discovered I am not the only person who overthinks life, either in general or in particular. …

The Introvert’s Guide to Becoming Cool

Recently, while traveling via airplane, I came across a film I hadn’t seen in a while. Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011) It’s an amusing, and inappropriate film, where Steve Carrell plays a Dad who’s wife decides to divorce him after admitting she had an affair. This sends Carrell into a slump, making his already schluby appearance even worse.

Ryan Gosling and Steve Carrell — Source — IMDB

He is rescued by Ryan Gosling, who plays a ladies man extraordinaire. He takes Carrell under his wing and teaches him not just how to speak to women, but also how to exude the same confidence and style he does.

It’s a very…

More than bumper sticker theology? Learning from the story of Esther

A recurring phrase I hear when I’m stressed and trying to manage the mess known as my life (or my living Hell, whichever you prefer), is, “Let go and let God.” To which, I usually turn on the poor soul who uttered those words with a withering look (sorry Mom).

Bumper sticker theology goes against my grain. Life is complicated and no matter how catchy a five word phrase can be, it can’t account for all of life’s pains, trials and complex misery.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Typically, this advice isn’t offered when things are going well, far from it. When we’re on top…

Terrance Layhew

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store